Gratitude in 2020
November seems to be the month devoted to gratitude. We give Thanksgiving for so much in our lives. Folks sit around dining tables and go through the ritual of expressing the things they are grateful for in their lives. It’s traditional, just like the turkey that sits in the middle of the table
Gratitude is a word that has become so common, it has almost lost the depth of its meaning. We use it in such a casual, almost flippant way sometimes. Today, I am pondering my own ability to honor the layers and layers of things that deserve reverence.
One of my teachers, Thich Nhat Hanh, often referred to being grateful for his “non -toothache”, a concept that always gives me a chuckle. “I am so happy I do not have a toothache today.” His simple teaching leads us to think about other profoundly mundane things to recognize. Today, I have two eyes that catch the typing mistakes I make, that look out my window to gaze at the raining down of yellow leaves from my two river birch trees, hundreds of them falling to the earth calling me to come out and dance among them.
My ears hear the whine of my six pound Yorkie begging to be picked up. I click a button on my computer and I hear my grandson singing one of his original songs. I phone my daughters and share stories. It’s rote to do these things. It is nothing short of amazing.
I know that gratitude trumps everything. It pushes depression away. It calms anxiety. It soothes grief. It changes our internal climate one cell at a time. It changes our chemistry on a cellular level. Gratitude brings us a peaceful way of being in the world despite the challenges, disappointments and losses.
My husband died ten years ago. Every day since then I remember something about him that brings a smile to my face. I am so grateful for those lingering memories and the absolute gratitude that he will never truly be gone from my life. A year ago, I lost a very dear friend. Sometimes the tears still fall. The other day I came across a photo of the two of us and I felt such joy...such gratitude that she entered my life.
As you think about your own life, what will you choose? This is November, the month of showing gratefulness. I challenge you to take it deeper this year. Things have been so difficult and frightening. The pandemic has created such havoc and change for all of us. We have had economic threats. There has been racial turmoil and political battling. The quarantine has created a certain level of isolation in all our lives. We have all felt such stress.
Wisdom teaches us that no matter what happens, the only thing we ever own is our response to the events and circumstances we face. I believe a daily practice of consistently developing gratitude becomes a foundation for life. It builds the muscle that holds us together when things fall apart. It gives us a deeper ability to celebrate the wonder in our lives. It gives us the ability to sleep better at night. It teaches us that it’s the little things in our lives that create meaning...the face of our child, the touch from a beloved, hearing a gentle stream, feeling the sun on our face. Or, sitting around a table eating turkey and stuffing once again with people we love. Miraculous.
