Be Still | The Mindful Christian
Be Still | The Mindful Christian
We all know the importance of words. Relationships are built with them. Our important teachers use words that help us structure our lives and we carry those words in our minds as we go about the business of living. Despite the fact that I had been flirting with Buddhist practice for over twenty years, I had not devoted myself with any consistency. My practice finally began on a spring morning several years ago. I sat in a room of three hundred strangers who had gathered from all parts of the country to experience a day of mindfulness. A diminutive woman gazed out at us from the elevated stage with a very gentle smile on her face. She took her sweet time looking at us and eventually uttered the words, “Welcome, my dear friends.”
The world changed for me with those four simple words. I thought about the possibilities that existed as I considered the strangers in this room to be “dear friends”. What if I went home and thought about my neighbors as “dear friends”? And the grocery store clerk. And people I ran into in my small town. The casual people in my life. Extended family. What if I included the people who had disappointed me to also be “dear friends”? I thought about all of this in the flash of an instant as Anh-Huong Nguyen uttered those words. It was her first Dharma teaching to me. I’m not sure there will ever be more powerful teaching in my life. I fell in love that morning with the practice of Applied Buddhism.
As a practitioner, I make a conscious attempt to take my practice wherever I go and I find the words of Buddhism creeping into my conversations. “Breathe.” “Smile.” “No judgment.” “Equality.” “Peace is every step.” “Suffering is universal.” “You are in me.”
Teaching Not-Buddhism in a Catholic Church
I took that frame of reference with me when I gave my yearly Lenten presentation to a rural Ohio Catholic church. I am invited each year to speak about creating sacred relationships. My role as a relationship coach and therapist takes me to venues both secular and religious. As I considered what topics I might cover, I struggled with the potential difficulty in sharing the joy of my Buddhist practice with a conservative, Catholic population. My practice is my life and keeping it in the closet is not possible.
Once again, I heard the words of Anh-Huong. In teaching us about community building she reminded us about the importance of compassion. “If people are uncomfortable with a statue of the Buddha, take the statue away.” So, I took the statue away.
“Be still and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10) became the basis of my presentation to my seriously Catholic friends. I reframed my practice and used their Christian language to teach them how to create peace in their lives so that they could offer it to the world — just as we practice in Applied Buddhism. My focus that night would be as it always is: stopping, calming, and resting which lead to healing and transformation, the principles of the Buddha's teachings.
That evening I sat in the sanctuary on a step just below the altar. Behind me was a wall of stained glass softly illuminated by the setting sun. Christ hung on a huge cross above me. The parish priest sat with his congregation in the pews facing me, and I began with the words, “Welcome, my dear friends.”
I picked up my singing bell, held it high on my fingertips, and let it ring three times. I simply closed my eyes, breathed in and out three times, and consciously set the tone for my presentation. My friends looked at me. Confusion filled their faces and I just smiled.
The first thing I taught that night was breath awareness.
“Shshhhh,” I told them. I rang the bell
Hear the bell of God calling...
Now, pay attention to your breath, and as you breathe, think of these words…
Breathing in, I am aware of God calling.
Breathing out, I give love.
We talked about the importance of being still enough to hear the voice of God.
Can you hear God’s voice as you wash the dishes?
How about when you’re driving or waiting in line?
Can you hear God’s voice when somebody disappoints you and you struggle with a response?
The Gift of a Smile
We moved on to giving the gift of a smile.
One of the best ways to relax is to smile. When we smile, it is impossible to be upset. When we smile, our throat relaxes, our cheeks rise and our eyes lift. The muscles of our face send messages to the nerves at the base of our skull. Those nerves send relaxation messages to our brains. Our brain is happy because the signal is sent that communicates, “all-is-well” to the “fight-or-flight” centers. Oxytocin is released in our brain because we are wearing a smile. Oxytocin is the chemical released when a parent cuddles an infant or when lovers hold each other. Oxytocin is the medicine that God gave us to help create compassion and love.
Your smile is a miracle. Your smile has no negative side effects. Your smile is absolutely free. Your smile is a sacred gift to yourself and to others because that one little gesture helps you to make space for the presence of God.”
Hear the bell of God calling.
Breathing in, I smile to God.
Breathing out, I smile to my sisters and brothers.
We sat there, looking at each other, and smiling. The priest leaned back in the pew with his huge hands resting on top of a friar-like belly, glancing at his people, smiling at them, and taking delight in our togetherness. He welcomed my words in front of his pulpit and his smile invited me to keep talking.
The practice of sacred hugging was my next topic…
