Nourishment and Healing in Your Relationship
Nourishment and Healing
By the time couples make their way to my office, they are often emotionally disconnected and discouraged about their relationship. The disconnect probably happened much earlier. It may have been a big event or it may have happened drip by drip. They both stopped thinking of the relationship as a safe place. They both stopped feeding the relationship. A relationship is a living entity. All living things need to be fed daily.
That initial phase of love we refer to as the Romantic Phase really tricks us into think loving our partner is an easy thing to do. We change our schedules to be with them. We say “no thank you” to invitations that take us away from our beloved. We cuddle, touch each other, and have regular exciting sex. It’s such a delicious phase of love. Yet, as we come together and begin sharing a life, the blush of easiness fades. There are the bills to pay, the house to clean, the kids to deal with. My job is too stressful and you spend too much time playing video games. Drip by drip.
Nourishing the relationship every day is not difficult. It can be a series of small gestures that tell our partner how important they are to us. This is the assignment I give couples who come to me:
Say three things you appreciate about your partner every day.
Give each other 3 long hugs a day.
Spend 30 minutes sitting across from each other talking about your day.
Plan dates for just the two of you taking turns planning it.
Make it a point to smile at your partner often, for no particular reason.
